Just My Luck

After the long boring ride to DFW and nearly being felt up by some frightening, gross TSA agent, I get some food and go back to my gate to await my flight home. While sitting in the somewhat comfortable chairs that all have armrests so that it would be impossible to sleep on them if necessary and I notice all the very pretty girls which are clearly getting on the same plane as me. This makes me a little more optimistic about the three hour flight ahead but surely they are going to be playing some lame kids movie so I settle back down. As i board and take my usual isle seat, because the other ones make me feel claustrophobic, usually near the front of the plane so I don't have to wait for all the senile elderly people to deplane. Once I'm seated I watch and wait for my fellow row mates hoping that this time maybe I'll get lucky and have some really cute girl to entertain me and my eyes for a couple hours. As the girls walk by I begin to doubt the miracle that would be, and assume I'm going to get some business man who is going to work on his laptop the whole time and not talk my ear off about her eight year old grandson. But instead of the mediocre business man I see this very heavyset middle aged woman headed right for me and I can tell that she is looking for her row down the way. The plane is filling up and there aren't many other seats available except for the one next to me.....and then it happens, my nightmare comes true!